Beyond a certain age, when you want to make new love encounters and start a new love life, there are certain things to expect. The person you want to meet will necessarily have a past in love, a more or less heavy baggage. Among these, marriages, divorces, painful stories or children. It is this last point which we will evoke. Before launching or engaging yourself in this story, there are obviously some aspects to take into account. Aspects that are not found in a “classic” relationship like getting involved with someone who already has children. How to act and how to position yourself in this situation?
You have met a man who attracts you and who you like very much. Everything seems to go well when he tells you that he has one or more children. Beware, it is not a question of considering this as something annoying, far from it. Don’t listen to the pessimists who will advise you to run away from this type of relationship. Instead, let your instincts and feelings do the talking. However, if you intend to make a concrete commitment to the relationship, there are certain parameters to know and some questions to ask yourself.
First Advice : Children
First of all, you have to keep one thing in mind : most of the time, the children will always come before you. If, in your relationships, you like to have exclusivity, to have your darling all to yourself, it may be difficult for you. You have to get used to the idea that the children are the priority. And, if you plan to start a family with this person, it’s even a very good sign! Also, you need to understand that the unexpected and concessions will be part of your daily life, as in any relationship, but this is even more true when there are children. You will have to be very flexible and patient.
Second Advice : The mother of the children
Another thing to consider is the mother of the children. Except in special cases, she will always be present. Whether you like it or not, whether you like it or not, she will be there, it’s a lifelong commitment.
Third Advice : A family
There is another, even more important aspect to consider. This person has children, you don’t, it’s possible that they don’t want any more, unlike you who dream of starting a family. This can be a real problem to consider before you commit to this relationship.
These are the main questions to ask yourself, but of course it also depends on the age of the children, your character, maturity and your desires. Does this mean that you have to give up before you even try? No. If you are attached to this man or woman and you are ready to commit, do it! Just because there are children doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed to failure (fortunately!).